"We've seen it all before! Astrayan people don't want to see scratchy copies of 'Return Of The Living Dead'; or dated episodes of 'My Three Son's ... or was that 'My Three Husbands' ? Next thing you know she'll be re-making 'My Bodyguard' ... or was he one of the husbands??"

Pantsdown doesn't expect viewers to warm to Hanson's portrayal of a "puppeteer", a role that Premier Beattie tipped her for recently. "A good puppeteer needs an original script", said the latte-sipping Pantsdown, "and Astrayan kiddies will miss the populist appeal of the Oldfield/Hanson Punch and Judy act. "

"Mowing the puppets down with a semi-automatic rifle doesn't have the same subtle appeal, even if it's well-choreographed" said Pantsdown, referring to One Nation's gun policies

A scene in Pantsdown's 1998 video clip for her top-ten hit 'I Don't Like It' portrayed her as a puppet whose strings were being pulled by unseen forces. Pantsdown doubts whether Hanson can handle the move to the other end of the strings. "Look what happened in 'Being John Malkovich', said Pantsdown, carefully smudging her lipstick, "when the puppet tried being the puppeteer he just multipled into multiple personalities. An army of Pauline Hansons would just bang into all the fences and use up all of Astraya's mascara stocks. Decent Astrayans would find themselves out of work!"

Pantsdown ran as an independent candidate for the NSW Senate in the 1998 federal election. Asked if she would considering running again, she replied "That's up to the ordinary mainstream Astrayan people out there ... but it's so hard to run in these heels. We'll have to see. I'm sure the Silly Country Alliance need a charismatic front-person, maybe I'll talk to them if they can hear me down at the rifle range."